跟罗马尼亚人比上进

今天突然想起罗马尼亚人。

很猛的,罗马尼亚人。我认识的罗马尼亚人无一例外的全都是学霸或者工作狂,他们功利、勤奋、上进心强,在学业或事业上向前冲的时候如果从你身边经过,他们身上的风都能把你带倒。就是这么猛,非常可怕!

但是说起上进心,我觉得上进心这东西需要细分。比如说对于财富和地位,我就特别没有上进心。倒不是说我不喜欢钱,硬要往我兜里塞钱我也能handle的来,但要是让我为了钱去拼、去奋斗,我就不高兴。对我来说有一点点钱就够了,我宁愿抱着游戏机或者一条狗躺在沙发里打发时间,也不愿意为了一点儿钱多浪费哪怕一秒钟。

权力我也不喜欢。我承认我对有权势的人有那么一点点偏见——我觉得他们都是傻逼。我不想当傻逼,我要当聪明逼。我们聪明逼的一大特征就是,从不强加于人。而有权势的人是做不到这一点的。

但要是由此得出我毫无上进心这个结论,我是不服的。我有上进心,只不过我的上进心表现在其他方面而已。

比如说虽然我已经长得这么好看了,但我还是一直坚持健身和控制饮食,这么做的目的,就是为了能让身体更加健康一些、性感一些,为了让大家一看到我就能感到赏心悦目、心潮澎湃。在娱乐大众这条道路上,我从未停歇。

我还非常认真和积极的做垃圾分类,我家厨房的三个垃圾箱我每天翻八遍,就是为了把老婆儿子扔错的垃圾挑出来重新分类。这算不算上进心?我觉得算,非常算。我的目标就是做全小区垃圾分类最细致的住户,我太上进了我!

另外,我还不打狗。以前打,现在不打了。我家狗智商不随我,我这辈子不漏一滴尿在马桶外面,但我家狗呢,每隔两天就要给我在地板上尿一泡,怎么说都不听。而且我也不冲陌生人乱叫,他可好,嚎起来活像一名东北人,感觉想把整个小区的大人小孩儿全都咬死。所以我以前实在忍不住了就飞踹他,跑到距离他两米远就开始起跳飞踹。现在不了,现在我服输了。在服输这个项目上我也是非常上进,全小区第一名,毋庸置疑。

所以说和罗马尼亚人比上进,我没有输,谁说我输了谁就是不客观,就是嫉妒我长得好看。

有谁会罗马尼亚语的?帮我把我的这声哀嚎翻译一下,我要嚎给罗马尼亚人听。

“跟罗马尼亚人比上进”的33个回复

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